Many of us know the old adage to save money: Buy what you need, not what you want.
But even when money is tight, it's a hard rule to follow. It's OK to buy what you want every now and then, but the key is to be intentional, says Aja Evans, a licensed mental health counselor and financial therapist.
Consider your budget, the occasion and even your mood. "What's going on with me emotionally? Am I just buying this because I am upset? Am I buying this because I have this dream that this is gonna solve all my problems?" she says.
To make more mindful purchases, Evans and Brian Vines, a reporter at Consumer Reports, share questions to ask yourself. If you answer "yes" to any of these queries, you may want to reevaluate your purchase.
Is your cash flow limited?
If you have to pull funds from what you've set aside for basic needs like housing, groceries, transportation or credit card payments, hold off on spending, Evans says. Don't pull from your emergency fund or the money you've saved for vacations, either.
To ensure you've got enough cash for, say, impulse buys at the checkout line, create a line item for fun stuff in your monthly budget, Evans says. Be realistic. "If you deprive yourself too much, you will not stick to it."
Are you trying to fill an emotional need?
If you find yourself feeling spendy, check in with yourself using the acronym HALT, a tool developed by Alcoholics Anonymous, Evans says. Are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired?
If so, there may be some other way you can fill that need without swiping your card. Eat a piece of chocolate at home, or do something that feels good, like going for a walk in the sun.
Is this part of a pattern?
Put your desire to spend into context. Let's say you love hunting for treasures at estate sales. "If every weekend you're going to different antique stores to search, peel back a layer and ask what's going on," Evans says. "How often are you shopping in this kind of way?"
You may find that you don't actually want to own a new thing. You just love the dopamine rush of discovering a new treasure and making a purchase. That awareness may be enough to put that card back in your wallet.
Are you trying to impress someone?
Sometimes we buy the latest and greatest because we think it will bring us status, Evans says. "Maybe you want people to look at you a certain way, and having this item may signify something [important]."
If this is the case, reflect on why this item matters so much to your self-esteem, and ask yourself why you care so much about what others think. "That's where the juicy stuff starts to happen," she says.
Are you going to buy it without doing research?
So you've decided to get a new mattress. Before you hit the "Buy Now" button, shop around for the best price and read reviews to make sure you're getting a good product, Vines says.
Don't assume that more expensive products are higher quality, he says. "Price does not guarantee performance." At the same time, don't buy something cheap when you can save up for something more expensive that will last.
If you're not sure what to get, ask friends and family members for recommendations. "Call your rich aunt who buys all the things you're interested in having and see if she actually likes it," Vines says. "Call the person you know who is the most cost-conscious and ask them questions."
Are you feeling so-so about it?
Let's say you have a craving for a doughnut. You head to the bakery to find that it's sold out. Should you get something else?
For Vines, the answer is no. "I'm not going to take a muffin or half a pie or a slice of tiramisu when I want one doughnut," he says. "If it's not what you want, walk away."
This story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and sign up for our newsletter. Follow us on Instagram: @nprlifekit.
Copyright 2025 NPR
